Sunday, January 18, 2009

Maine IS a southern state...

(This post was inspired by a comment Groovy made, on her blog, about my knowledge of where Maine is.)



I have long held the view that they have it all wrong. All our maps and globes etc. of Earth, are wrong... wrong I say.

They are all oriented UP side DOWN.

Just think about it for a moment...

The earth is a ball floating in space and it has greater mass on one side of the equator than the other side... so naturally the side with the greater mass would roll round and eventually settle at the bottom.

Take a look at the 'polar' globe below...


This clearly supports my argument... I'm not sure how, but I'm sure it does.

Therefore all the maps, globes, atlases and so on have been printed upside down.

But I'm not the only one who knows the truth of this... there's a secret society that's gaining credibility in its promotion of the correct way to depict the world. They have even convinced Google to support them by scrapping Google Earth in its current form and releasing Earth, Google in its place.

Don't believe me? Well I knew you wouldn't, but I have managed to secure a beta version of Earth, Google and here it is;

(If you can't see the detail at the end of this clip, don't worry, there's a detail pic below.)

I know this is going to mean a radical change to people's understanding of the world and their place in it.

For instance "I'm standing on top of the world." will mean that you're in an entirely different place than you thought you'd be.

There will be a massive reprint of all maps, atlases and globes. Which just might help the world's current economic problems.

Teaching geography will need to be adjusted in all classrooms across the globe... except where 'home' schooling takes place of course. (Well... a flat earth is a flat earth no matter which way you look at it... tehe... just kidding.)

Here's Maine in its actual place... Groovy, take note.
(Click pic to enlarge)

But the biggest change is one that might come as a shock to the world's dominant political players.

Up until now the arrogance of being up at the top of this orb has given our 'Northern' friends the cockiness necessary to assert their dominance on the rest of the world and take the lead in all matters political and aggressive.

Well all that is about to change... which countries are going to dominate in the new world view? Why it must be... let me see... yes... it looks like it will be New Zealand, South America, Africa and of course Australia (bonza mate).

And clearly, as Australians are such lovely people, it will be us that will provide the lead in all matters international... and we will also provide the Leader Of The Free World too. And at the moment that will be Mr Kevin Rudd.



We will of course throw in the New Zealand Prime Minister as Deputy Leader Of The Free World, but don't be too concerned about that because they have an even sillier accent than ours, and of course no one's likely to take a Kiwi seriously on the world's stage anyway.

So there you have it, Aussie domination in sport, entertainment and all round nice-guyness has only been a side game to the big one.

And besides, the world will be a far better place with us in charge. Well for starters every weekend will be a long weekend... no wars on any day that ends with the letter 'y' and free beer all round. (Except for the Kiwis, they get even uglier when drunk.)

See you up top.

7 comments:

groovyoldlady said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh my word!

I laughed so hard I peed my pants!

Oops - too much information.

Sorry.

*ahem*

I think you'll have a hard tme selling your theory here in the States. Heck, we're so far behind we haven't even gone metric yet.

Aunty Belle said...

hilarious!!!!!!

But, Bear, funny funny Bear,
TRUE southerness is a state of mind not a geography.

Pam said...

Thanks for stopping by today. You might just be right with your theory ... I think there are a lot of things we only presume to know! But I don't think I could get my head around the big change of the maps!

Pam said...

PS - I agree with Auntie -- Southern is a state of mind for sure.

Bear said...

Groovy:
If you weren't so far behind, instead of fluid ounces, you would've peed your pants in millilitres (and of course, being a southerner, that's spelt 'milliliters').



Aunty:
And I'm FAR more southern than you, Aunty... geographically speaking that is.



Pamokc
I know what you mean... as I was preparing the video portion of this post, I kept moving the wrong way round the globe.

And I agree with you and Aunty, both. I worked for a while with a room full of southerners, and not only did I emerge with an accent, I wanted to deep fry all my food as well.

Anonymous said...

I'm DOWN or should that be UP with Aussies ruling the world. How could we go wrong with a leader who looks like the Milky Bar Kid?

Bear said...

Romany Angel:
Ha... I knew I could count on your vote, Angel, and I must admit that even I think he looks cute... in a bear kinda way... tehe.