IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER...

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?
Well of course you have, but I mean really
looked at yourself... and... does what you see
depend on the mirror that you use?

If you were to look in this mirror...
...does it make you feel plain?

Or does this mirror...
...take you back to a past era?



Do you feel Italian..

French...

Loved or lovely...


Salty...


Or rustic?

I would've said it's the reflection not
the mirror that's important. It's what
you see, not where you see it.

I would've said that... until very recently
that is.

A little while ago I found myself looking at
my reflection... and it was a very moving
experience. In this case it was where I
saw my reflection that was important,
not the reflection itself.



Butch and I have been very busy and
preoccupied of late... and it can seem like
we haven't seen each other for months.
So we took the opportunity to spend
the day together without the rest of the
universe needing and receiving our attention.

I don't know how you feel about it, but I
reckon that life very often gets in the way
of living. We tend to just 'get on with it' when
it comes to work, family and so many other
commitments, that we forget to take a little
time out and reconnect with those that are
closest to us... those that we love.

So Butch and I went to a park/lake area and
had a picnic... well it was more like a liquid
lunch than a picnic, we had a bottle or two
of Champagne to share, a blanket to sit on,
a beautiful day, and each other.

We needed to reconnect, we needed
to reassure each other that the fire that burns
inside each of us for the other is still there and
as hot and vibrant as it ever was. And so we spent
the best part of the day snogging and sipping the
wine.

It was a fantastic day.

We chatted, we laughed and we kissed... we
kissed a lot... and a lot... and we told each other
just how we really felt about each other... how much
we love each other. It was truly a wonderful day.

Butch has very lovely eyes and they really are
windows to her inner thoughts, her soul.
Whenever I look into her eyes I feel that I'm
looking into the deepest reaches of who she is and
how she feels... it very often takes my breath away.
Whenever Butch catches me with her gaze, I feel a
physical embrace, I sense her passion and her
love for me. Butch communicates in a very special
way through her majestic, gypsy like, eyes.



Being in her eyes is being in her heart, being a part
of her, and it really is the safest, most loving place
to be. I feel loved, I feel safe, I feel that there is an
eternity when I look into Butch's eyes... I feel that I
want to stay there until the end of time. To be in
Butch's eyes is to be in her heart.

As we sat and gazed silently into each other's eyes,
as we communicated without words, as we confirmed
our deep and abiding love for each other, I saw a
confirmation that Butch only had eyes for me... I saw
my reflection as clear as a photo, in her eyes.

I'm blessed.

I have a special place in Butch's heart, I play a big part
in her life, I am loved, truly loved by this beautiful
woman.



Butch, it's very comforting to know that you only have
eyes for me. I love you so much my darling... and I will
for ever more.


Bear.

MB - R.I.P.

Yes, I'm sad to say that MB has finally moved on to a better place.

R. I. P.

Relocation Implementation Plan.
That's the plan I devised because her needs could no longer be met by me in my home.

Huh...? R. I. P. ? You thought it meant what...? Oh, sorry, I didn't think of that... no, she's fit and healthy in body and... well in body at least.

I have relocated MB to this place...

Eden in Lynbrook. (click link)

It's a good place and I think it's much better for her
health and safety. MB had started to leave the gas on
on the stove, she was constantly confused and she would
venture out to the gate of the property when on her own,
and that worried me enormously as she would never
find her way back if she wandered off. And of course,
she would not be able to tell anyone where she
was supposed to be if she was found to be lost.

So as hard as it was, I made the decision to relocate
her into a care facility. R. I. P.

To get her to accept the move, I had to fib to her...

I told her that I was going away, which was usually
acceptable because I would always arrange
to have someone come in of an evening and
supervise/assist her in preparing her evening
meal... and then sit with her and be a companion
until 10:00pm, bed time.

But I had to add a little twist this time.

I told MB that I couldn't get anyone to be with
her every evening and so I had to find somewhere
for her to stay whilst I was away. After the initial
discussion and many empty promises that it was
just for a short while, she relaxed into the idea.

Reluctantly, but true to form, once it was obvious
that it was going to happen, she ceased all
resistance and concentrated on making sure all
her needs would be met.

Her needs, by the way, boiled down to food and
laxatives. If I could reassure her that those
two fundamentals of life could be guaranteed,
then she would be fine.

And she is.

She's been there just over a week and my sister
reports that she's settling in just fine. Unfortunately
we have to keep up the charade of me being away
so that enough time passes and it becomes normal
for her to be there. I will in fact be 'in town' briefly
this weekend, which will allow me to visit her
without blowing the cover.

The house is different now that she's gone... I get
to use the remote control, I can play my music when
and as loud as the mood takes me, I don't have to
argue over things that others take as given, I no
longer harbour suspicions that she's washed her
knickers in the kitchen sink, we don't argue over
undoing the seat belt in the car too soon, I am not
constantly wiping up after her, I no longer search
the house high and low for something that belongs
in one place and has just been moved to a randomly
selected new location, I don't have to check that the
cutlery hasn't been placed back in the drawer unwashed,
I don't have to constantly repeat every single instruction/
request/information that I give her, I don't have to place
the photos back on the wall that she took down for no
reason, I have my own room back, the bathroom is no
longer cluttered with things that MB insisted that she
needed but never used, the toilet brush now sits the
right way up, the house is no longer as hot as an oven
because she just couldn't get warm, I no longer hear
her banging into her bedroom wall as she walked in
a pitch black room to hop into bed because she
refused to turn on the bedside lamp, I no longer have
to work out what TV show she was convinced was
supposed to be on but wasn't because she was reading
the wrong page of the guide, I don't have to search her
dressing table drawers for the mail that she collected
from the mailbox and opened then decided that she
wouldn't be able to give it to me in that condition so would
hide it in her room, and I don't constantly worry about
how she's going... but what I do do now is feel bad about
putting her in care... and I miss her.

I love MB, and I've done the best I could possibly do
for her... I hope in her addled mind that she was happy
and felt safe and cared for... I hope I did enough for her.

Cheers MB.

THE ANSWER...

Currently on my turntable... well actually it's the
CD/DVD player, but you know what I mean...
is this band...(mouse over to see them)
The Answer...
and you can read about them here.

They've only been around since about 2000,
their first album was about 2005 I think,
and now they're the support band for the
current AC/DC 'Black Ice' world tour. I wouldn't
mind seeing them when they hit Melbourne...
at a more intimate venue than the
AC/DC show I'm hoping.

Cheers.

WHALES AND THEIR BITE (THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN BIGHT, THAT IS)...

I fly a lot...

and I tend to just gaze out the window whilst
I contemplate the deeper things in my life.

Recently I was flying over the Great Australian
Bight from Melbourne to Perth...

You know, the big curved bit at the centre
bottom of my country.

From way up there I was just gazing at the
very calm sea and marvelling at the fact that there
were no white caps at all, when I realised that the
water was actually being disturbed. Disturbed enough
to make frothy white patches on the surface that
would disappear as quickly as they came. As I
looked I realised there was a pattern to them,
and that they looked as if something physical
below the surface was causing the disturbance.

The plane was very high so I couldn't make out
much detail, but the bright sunlight certainly
made the whiteness of those patches stand out.
It was then that I realised that I was watching a
pod of whales lumbering along and breaking
surface every so often.

It really was amazing... and it made me
feel quite insignificant within the
greater scheme of things.

After concentrating on them a while, I could
see that there were groups within the larger
group, and I would estimate that there was
about thirty whales spread over maybe ten
square kilometres.

Even from that distance, they looked so majestic
as they lumbered along. I could tell by the size
of some of the 'white caps' as they breached
the surface, that some of the whales must've
been quite smaller than the rest. Family groups
with young?

I've never seen a whale up close. Being a teenage surfing
Aussie in my younger days, I saw my share of Dolphins
and the odd shark up close... the Dolphins were cute
and the sharks were a blur... but I'd love to have a close
encounter with a pod of whales.

THE OTHER SIDE OF RAINBOWS...

I've developed a deep affinity with rainbows,
I can't see one now without thinking of my
beautiful darling.

And it doesn't need to be an actual rainbow to
invoke those warm thoughts...

... a rainbow of Tulips will do it.

Rainbows give me a sense of hope.
and help me to hold on to my dreams...

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are
blue, and the dreams that you dare to
dream really do come true.

I'm a romantic and I know it, but I do
believe dreams can come true.



Rainbows are beautiful...

... but they do have an other side.

To see a rainbow overhead, and to almost
feel the colours as it spreads out over
the sky fills me with wonder... but as I
look and drink in the wondrous colours,
I see that the sky is filled with heavy
storm clouds and I'm standing in the
rain.

In order to have rainbows, it must also rain.

I think rainbows reflect the colours
within our soul... and that our soul would
have no rainbow if our eyes had no tears.

When I look into your deep soulful eyes
Butch, I see rainbows, bold and brightly
coloured.

Our life's path with one another is brightly
coloured by rainbows... but that only happens
because the journey we are taking also has
its rain. If I were ever given the chance to
banish rainy days from our journey I would
not hesitate to keep them in... because the
rain is a small price to pay.

You fill my life with such beautiful colours,
Butch.

I love you, Bear.

Mr and Mrs Peter Minelli...

I was fishing around YouTube again, and came
across this little gem.

In 1967 Peter Allen married Liza Minnelli. To
celebrate, Liza and the Allen Brothers played
an enormously successful season at the fabled
Chequers nightclub in Sydney - and made a
triumphant return to the boys' alma mater, TCN 9
Sydney, in a BANDSTAND special featuring
Liza, Peter and Chris.

Here's the finale trio number!

Cheers.