A long way from home...

I'm currently in Canada... but I nearly wasn't.

I guess you're aware of one of the many TV shows that's

based on the theme of border protection. There's 

been a recent spate of shows that show real footage

of travellers going through airport customs and not quite

making it through for one reason or another.

Usually the people who are called to one side for closer
scrutiny are found to have a dubious reason for wanting
to enter the country, or they're carrying drugs, or perhaps
they're travelling on false passports. Whatever the reason
that they've been caught for, they usually look like they
deserved to be caught.

I've watched these shows numerous times as it fascinates
me that these people get caught out. I travel a lot and have
been through customs in many countries, and I have never
been asked to step to the side for the purpose of closer
scrutiny.

Well until this trip, that is.

When you arrive at the customs counter,
it depends what country you're entering as
to what you have to do when you get there.

In Zambia, I slipped the guy US$50 and I went
through unchallenged. In Indonesia it's a few
hundred thousand Indonesian Rupiah and you're
good to go. No questions, it's just a matter of
paying.

In the Us, Canada, Australia and most other countries
of the same 'type', the border isn't for raising money,
it's for keeping the unwanted out. So, when you hand
your passport over for inspection, they actually look at
it and the entry form you filled out on the plane and they
might even ask you why you are seeking entry to their 
country.

Up until this trip I had hardly ever been asked any
questions at the passport checkpoint. I mean really,
what threat does a rather cute looking bear pose?

  

Well this time, at a Canadian airport, the guy at the 

checkpoint asked me why I was coming to Canada.

As I said, I’ve been asked before why I’m 

wanting to enter a country, and I’ve usually said 

something vague like “I’m attending a conference or 

seminar...” The reason for asking is that they want to 

know if I was going there to perform a function 

that could be performed by locals... like acting as a 

consultant, which by the way is the main reason why I 

go anywhere. So if that’s the case then more questions 

are asked and I would need formal documentation from

 the client explaining why a local can't perform the 

function that I’m there to perform and so on... it can get 

very messy because special visas are required and in 

some countries it's quite a job to organise. So being vague 

and not looking like you’re there to steel jobs is usually 

the best thing to do.

However I didn't quite answer to the customs guy's liking. 

I really can't remember what I said or didn't say, but 

instead of letting me through he asked me to go to the 

Immigration office that was off to the side.

Uh-oh.

Well once in there I quickly new that precise answering 

was required when being asked specific questions... lying is 

just not an option. Fortunately, with the type of consulting 

that I do, there’s probably less than a dozen people in the 

world that do it... so therefore I’m not likely to be taking a 

local’s job... well that’s the tack I was taking... but to 

explain a job that’s taken me over 20 years to develop and 

perfect, to someone who’s not even of the industry is very 

difficult to do without it sounding like a no brainer and yes 

even your sniffer dog could do it. With every answer I 

offered I could feel the whole thing slipping from me.

I kept at it as best I could... explaining and answering her, 

but she was really having difficulty understanding why the 

Canadian client had sent for an Australian consultant to do 

something that didn't sound too specialised and that surely 

there were Canadians that were just as capable.

It wasn't looking good.

I was frantically trying to think of something that I could say that 

meant I was the only one that could do what I was there to do. 

I had already mentioned that training was one of the services 

that I was providing but it still wasn’t unique enough. I have to 

say, I was starting to feel very uncomfortable with the 

prospect of being refused entry. when it dawned on me...

"Well the main reason why I'm here is because they bought my 

company's software a while ago and I'm here to train them in its 

use." Which is not entirely true because many clients use our 

software without training, and the 3 day course I run is on the 

theory and principles applied by the software’s function rather 

than how to use the application. But it was enough for her to change 

focus away from stealing jobs to finding out if there was a 

requirement in Canada’s customs legislation that excluded me 

from doing that without a visa... she said there was an exemption 

for US citizens but she had to check if there was one for 

Aussies as well. Fortunately it was eventually decided that I could 

come in and do what I was there to do. After that, and as she 

stamped everything in sight as they do, she said that I was very 

very close to being put back on the plane and sent back to 

where I came from.

That was a nerve wracking hour or so. And I shudder to 

think what the client would’ve said if I was sent away... I mean

they’re paying my company US$38,000 to have me there for a 

couple of weeks. I'd hate to have to reimburse them out of my

meagre pay. 

I have learnt something from this though... no matter what 

country I’m entering, and no matter why I'm entering it, 

my stock answer if asked will be... 

“I’m a chimney sweep.”

Oh well, all's well that ends well I guess.

Cheers.